Society Worships Beauty, Not God

Mirror Mirror on the Phone, Who's the Fairest of Them All?

Note: This post contains certain opinions of mine that may seem grossly generalized, and stereotypical. I’ve written this post in a slightly sarcastic tone, and have taken a strong stance to put across my thoughts on how society worships beauty. It’s not my intention at all to hurt anyones’ feelings, and I hope you can understand this. Thank you.

You define beauty yourself.

Society doesn’t define your beauty.

Lady Gaga

Dear Lady Gaga,

I beg to differ from your statement. Society does indeed define our beauty. Society does measure our worth in the way we look. It’s an unfortunate truth, but it will always remain true.

This world, it’s not kind to people who aren’t beautiful. It will never be kind to people like us, the unbeautifuls. This world always has, and always will worship beauty.

Sincerely,

An Unbeautiful

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Sometimes, I wish we were all born blind.

If we were all deprived of vision, we wouldn’t be able to see each others’ faces, and maybe only then we would be able to glance into each others’ hearts. Maybe only then the world would be a better place. Because in its current state, it isn’t.

Before I go on, I just want you to know that if you’re a reader of mine and are luckily beautiful, I’m so happy for you. I really am, and I’m sure you’re an amazing person. But this piece in particular is for the unbeautifuls like me. It’s for all the unbeautifuls who have felt invisible.

We also need some space in this world. This piece is also for the young girl in me, who would have loved to read something like this. The girl who was so desperate to be beautiful, just so she could also feel accepted. That girl no longer exists; she faded away as I grew up and gained confidence. But I think I still owe it to her to write these words.

Some of my opinions may seem biased to you, but then everyone has a biased perspective according to the life they’ve been given. So while some things I say in this piece, may seem grossly generalized, please understand that it’s not my intention to hurt your feelings. My intention is to use my words as a balm for those who have been hurtfully judged just on the basis of how they look.

I may sound like a bitter woman, trying to take her anger out at the world. But it’s actually the complete opposite. I’ve never felt as comfortable in my skin as I do now. I no longer desire to look beautiful to others.

I used to. Oh I used to care so, so much. If you had met the teen me, my only purpose in life was to become beautiful.

You see, I wanted the life that the beautifuls had. I wanted the attention. I wanted the praises and compliments. I wanted the acceptance, so badly.

If a wicked witch had handed me a potion to make me beautiful, I would have taken it without a thought.

Do you understand what would push someone to that extent? Judgement. When you’re constantly told you don’t look right, the only wish you have is to somehow magically transform into one of the beautifuls.

It wasn’t my fault how I looked, but that’s a fact conveniently forgotten. Since I wasn’t particularly beautiful, not an ideal weight, that was almost always the first thing anyone commented on. All the flaws, so many flaws.

Reducing me to something that for the most part wasn’t in my control. It was almost as if it was a sin to not meet the beauty standards set by society.

Nowadays though, it doesn’t matter to me anymore. As I said, the girl in me who was desperate to be seen, died a long time ago. The way I look is not my top priority, anymore.

Sure I like to dress up, and look as nice as I can but that’s about it. I personally do think I am beautiful. The mirror tells me I am beautiful. But for the society, I will always remain an unbeautiful. But you know what? I choose to believe myself, and what the mirror shows me.

This confidence probably comes with age, but I think it also comes with the evolutionary aspect of this topic. I’m married and have children, so I achieved the basic need of being attractive enough from an evolutionary point of view. Which apparently plays a big role in convincing society that they must focus on beauty and only beauty.

To the society, it doesn’t matter anymore whether I’m beautiful or not. Because I’ve attained life milestones regardless of how my physical appearance is. I’m far more acceptable now. I’m more tolerable for the society now. My work has been done. I still don’t quite belong, but I can spend my life in peace.

If I were an idealistic person, I would say I’m writing this piece to change the world. And maybe 20 years ago if I had written on this topic, that’s exactly what I would have said. Let’s change the world. Let’s all be more inclusive, let’s talk about letting go of beauty standards.

But I’m not going to say this. It’s really not my aim in writing this piece. The world doesn’t change just because we speak up, we really have to internalize the change first, and that too as a whole. We have to change the society’s mindset, and a few words by me on it won’t change anything.

Society will go on the way it has for centuries. That’s okay. I’m fine with this because I know there’s so much more to me beyond the way I look. Beyond the way my features have been placed on my face.

But my hope for this piece is that if you’ve ever been made to feel like an outcast because of the way you look, you’re not alone. You may feel singled out, but I promise you there are countless people like you in this world that feel the same way.

Let’s Talk About Worshipping

How could the way you look be your fault, if it’s God that created you?

There are countless religions in the world, right? Some worship stone idols, some worship God, and some worship fire.

Then there’s the holy books such as the Quran, the Bible, the Torah. Teaching us about love, kindness and equality.

There’s countless debates over which religion is right, which is the truest one, and which one will get you to heaven.

But I would like to argue, perhaps there’s another religion that’s not talked about enough. It’s called Philocalism. It’s the religion of people who worship beauty, quite literally idolize it.

Stop for a moment, and look around yourself. Am I wrong?

Okay let me be honest. I made that religion up for the purpose of this piece. I derived it from the greek term Philocalist which means lover of beautiful things. But I want you to think about it. We say something like this doesn’t exist, but doesn’t it?

So I’m just going to say it. A controversial statement perhaps, but the truth is always controversial isn't it?

The greatest religion in this world is that of beauty worshipping, or as I like to call it Philocalism.

Society does worship beauty, not God.

If we were to worship God in it’s truest sense, wouldn’t we be kinder to all of His creations? Wouldn’t we be more equivalent? Wouldn’t we think for a second before saying something unkind to someone on the basis of their physical appearance?

In this ‘religion’ there are many gods and goddesses. All of them have one thing in common. They all have symmetrical features, and cast a halo effect wherever they go. Their facial features have what’s called the golden ratio, that makes them radiate sunshine. Okay not literally, but the closer they are to that ratio, the closer they are to being perfect.

Anyone can be a god or goddess, there’s only one caveat.

You have to be beautiful.

There are different tiers in this religion. The exceptionally, naturally beautiful ones sit on the highest throne, then there are the less beautiful ones, and then the almost beautiful ones, and finally the unbeautifuls.

Your worthiness is directly proportional to just how beautiful you are. Each tier looks up to the tiers above them. As for the higher tiers, they all look down upon the others. And the sad reality is that even the unbeautifuls judge each other instead of forming an alliance.

They are so entranced by the top tiers’ beauty, that they see nothing else. If they can’t have it, they can just run after it, in hopes that some of the bright radiance might rub off of them too. That just being in the gods/goddesses presence, the unbeautifuls may also get some of the much coveted glow.

Now there are several ways to achieve these prestigious positions in Philocalism. The most authentic way is to be born beautiful, of course. That method holds the most power too by the way. It’s the purest form of this currency. It’s actually winning at life’s lottery.

But worry not, the beauty industry has made it so that the unbeautifuls can also become beautiful. It’s obviously not the real thing, but it’s close enough. I would list down all the ways an unbeautiful can transform into a beautiful, but I think all of us know how the beauty industry works.

However, see, if you’re born beautiful, you have a special currency to buy a prestigious position in society. I’m not talking about materialistic things. I’m talking about things like confidence, pretty privilege and more chances at success.

Beauty worshipping is a widespread phenomenon, and whether you admit it or not, we all have judged people based on the way they look. It’s part of human nature. We are all philocalists deep inside.

It just depends on how dedicated we are to this religion. If we get astray, we become sinners, because that makes us seem jealous. Going astray, and not worshipping the beautifuls, just paints us green with envy. So we continue putting the beautifuls up high on a pedestal made of gold and silver.

Additionally, don’t we all strive to look the best? Why is it that though? If we were all blind, would it really matter? Why is there a race for the clearest skin, banishing of all imperfections, and god forbid aging.

Not many will admit, but it’s because all of us want to be gods and goddesses, because of the life perks they get. Nobody actually wants to be on the worshipping side of this religion. This is a religion where everyone wants to be a god or goddess, whether they admit it or not.

Why?

Because society has told us again and again, that we must look a certain way. We see countless examples around us where beauty is the first priority for a successful and happy life.

As unbeautifuls, we are treated like mere peasants who must play the role of admiring the gods and goddesses of Philocalism.

This is a religion, where in fact the gods and goddesses are already in heaven, and the rest of us are waiting for mercy and there’s no road to paradise.

The Ugly Duckling

One of my favorite fairytales while growing up was ‘The Ugly Duckling’ by Hans Christian Anderson. Why? Because when I was 8 years old I was told by a kid in my class that I was like the ugly duckling. Kids can be cruel you know.

But if you know anything about me, I like to take everything with a positive spin. In the fairytale, the ugly duckling goes onto become a beautiful swan. It was never a duckling in the first place anyway. So I thought to myself, well when I grow up I’m going to be a swan. Full disclosure, I didn’t magically transform into a graceful swan. That’s okay.

But there’s a particular line in this fairytale though, that I love and I’d like to quote it here. I think it highlights society’s state in such a simple yet apt way:

"What nice-looking children you have, Mother," said the old duck with the rag around her leg. "They are all pretty except that one. He didn't come out so well. It's a pity you can't hatch him again.” - The Ugly Duckling (Hans Christian Anderson)

Read the last line again: It’s a pity you can’t hatch him again.

Doesn’t it sound just like us human beings? The judgement starts from the moment we are born, and if it were up to human beings they really would send babies back to get fixed and come out beautiful. Or if we were living in a dystopian society, we would genetically engineer to make only perfect, beautiful babies. Babies so perfect, that the entire world would be filled with gods and goddesses.

But then the question remains, who would worship them if they were all beautiful?

This concept of being beautiful, accepting only beauty, has been drilled into our minds since the beginning of the world. There’s going to be no end to it. I’m as sure of this as my next breath.

Can we do anything to fix it? I’m not sure. I don’t think so. If you’re an unbeautiful, you just have to accept the card that life’s dealt you.

When you’re an unbeautiful, you just have to work harder at life. Don’t get me wrong. You can lead a pretty good life, but you have to work extra hard on it, especially when growing up. Because when you’re an unbeautiful, no one sees you. You’re an invisible ghost amongst the beauties.

To be seen, you have to do something that is extraordinary. You have to stand out of the crowd. Whether that’s through some special talent, being excellent at academics, or funny. Anything that makes you more noticeable.

What a paradox this is for us unbeautifuls.We are invisible, yet at the same time all our flaws are in focus.

Mirror Mirror on the Phone

Another favorite fairytale of mine is the Snow White. We all know that one, and while Snow White is the main character in it, I’ve also been interested in the Evil Queen’s side too. She becomes so obsessed with staring into the mirror, asking it to tell her again and again she’s the most beautiful of all.

Until Snow White comes into play. But that’s not the story I want to discuss today.

I want to talk about how these days, we ask our phones the same question. Mirror, Mirror on the Phone, whose the most beautiful of all?

Unlike the mirror from Snow White, our phones tell us lies all the time. The funny thing is that we know these are lies in the form of filters, yet we choose to believe them. We keep swiping, until we find the perfect filter that makes us look the most beautiful. The one that gets us the most likes and comments.

You would think this would have solved the entire beautiful/unbeautiful debate, since now everyone gets to be beautiful. At least virtually. But that messes up the entire situation even more.

This further distorts the society’s perception of beauty. And even though in the moment an unbeautiful may feel beautiful with filters, it creates a dissonance in reality. It creates a further dissatisfaction, because now you know how it feels to be beautiful, but you still can’t be a beautiful in the real world.

So where does this end? How do we reach the point where there’s more equality?

To be honest, in my humble opinion it doesn’t. The most we can do is to raise our children in a better way, teaching them about equality and that skin deep beauty isn’t the most important thing.

However, I do think that the world will continue this way, and never really change.

Maybe the other side of life will be kinder to us unbeautifuls?

I sure hope so.

Wishing you a wonderful day,

An Unbeautiful

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