Goodbye, Dopamine Prison

Why I Quit Social Media

First of all, I want to welcome all of you who have joined the Enchanted Letters family in the past couple of days. There have been so many of you, and I’m grateful for each and every one of you. Also please note that I had a completely different post planned for this Friday’s post. But I posted a note earlier this week and it went mega viral.

And since I feel so passionately about this topic, I decided to post this piece instead. The originally planned piece will go out next Friday. It’s a lighter piece on the magic of books, so be sure not to miss it.

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Now, a lot of you found me through this note (pictured below) I posted on Substack earlier this week. And it got me thinking, that there are many people like me who are feeling the same way. So I wanted to talk about it in more detail.

This note, that took me only a few minutes to write, blew up and went viral. It got over 1000s of likes and hundreds of comments. When I posted the note, I honestly didn’t think much of it. I didn’t even think anyone would see it, let alone resonate with it. But thousands of you have. Which is a sign to me.

And let me be clear, when I wrote this note I didn’t post it from a place of feeling frustrated with Substack. I absolutely adore Substack, and actually haven’t seen any videos in my feed. Substack has been probably the only platform where I feel completely welcome. Substack is wholesome. It’s refreshing.

The live videos that I have seen have been greatly informational, and I have enjoyed quite a few. I’m also not against videos at all. They do have a place and time, and do add value.

But I think in general with the other social media platforms, we are all feeling the same way. Which indicates to me that perhaps there is a rising tide, and things are about to change. I may be wrong, but I really wish that I’m not. I think it’s high time that there is a change in the world of internet. It may take years, but I think people are waking up from the effects of constant media consumption coma.

We are all tired of video. Short form content that is. I have a good reason for feeling this way. Lots of us are quitting social media.

You see, social media of today with tiktoks, shorts and reels, is a trap. Hear me out, before judging me.

It’s a real habit hard to let go of, and I know this first hand. I must have spent literal years of my life scrolling away. The dopamine rush of it is like nothing. If you’re a content creator then it’s even more alluring.

I’m embarrassed to tell you this but most days my screen time used to be around 8 to 9 hours a day. Hours which I could have spent being productive, and making progress in my life and career. Hours that I could have spent reading and writing. Hours that I could have spent just living instead of watching others live.

Escapism has become so easy with the advent of short form media. It gives you the illusion of being busy by wasting your literal life away. It snatches your life away from you, and you don’t even care to take it back. Because the ride is so enjoyable, you don’t see anything wrong with it.

And this is not just it. There are two facets to this. One is the consumer side, and the other is the content creating side. Both are in great loss, in my humble opinion. No one is benefiting from the current social media scenario of short form content.

I say this because I’ve been on both sides. For those of you who don’t know I’m a former food blogger, and have written an extensive piece on why I quit my successful food blog of 10 years. You can read it here: After 10 Years of Food Blogging I Called it Quits

Yes, there’s a lot of money for content creators (and the social media giants) in this game. But it’s also a dangerous game to play. I know this because I’ve played the game for years, and I got burned badly. I wasn’t even doing short form content. I ran a recipe website. But still I was consumed by the vanity metrics. Google Analytics was my best friend/nemesis for years, as I watched my traffic go up and down. It was partly my fault, and partly the system I was in.

The constant pressure to churn out content, and dancing to the tunes of ever changing algorithm eventually takes a toll on you. At what point does the money not become worth it anymore?

I’m not sure many content creators will admit this, but I want to voice this out. In fact, I want to shout it from the rooftop. It needs to be said. Someone has to say it. I can’t be the only one thinking this way. I can’t be the only one who fell into a dark pit of self hatred and regret. It took me a long time to climb out of it, and I don’t want to go back. Ever.

And if you find yourself in this dark pit, I want to extend my hand to you and pull you out into the light. This is why I’m writing this piece.

When I hit rock bottom, I realized that no money was worth going through what I was. Was I just a weakling? Maybe. But I think being weak saved me. It really did.

I’m happier now than I ever was earning thousands of dollars. I’m no longer scared of ‘losing it all’. My happiness no longer relies on likes and views. The algorithm no longer controls me. I’m no longer a puppet attached with strings. I’m free, and I can soar through the sky like a bird now.

These days, I get to live and create on my own terms. Not on the terms of the algorithm gods. I’m no longer a slave in the internet world. I’m a person, a human being, living the actual life and well only life I’ve been given.

We all think we have the control, yet we are letting social media consume our lives. I have not met a single person who disagrees with this notion.

Even with this note of mine that went viral, I could feel the power of the countless likes and comments. I was so happy, checking my analytics frequently. I was getting giddy from knowing that people were agreeing with my words. My heart was thumping with excitement. I was feeling extremely validated. My mind kept saying, today you are the Queen, you are important, you matter.

But there was another voice of reason in my mind saying, you need to take a step back. This will die down. And you shouldn’t come crashing down with it.

In fact, as I’m writing this piece, the part of my mind that craves the dopamine rush is urging me to write it as fast as possible and get it out to the world. Even though my regular posting day is Friday, and there are still two days before that. It’s making me think that I should write this piece in a couple of hours, record the voice over and get it out before the virality of the note dies.

That part of my mind, is worried that if I don’t put this piece out in the next few hours, no one will read it and it won’t go viral. All it’s thinking about is numbers. Not the fact that it’s 9 pm and I’m down with a cold and really should be resting instead of creating content.

Those of you who know me, know that I want all my writing to be extremely polished when I present it to you. And that takes time. I take care with each and every word I write. I treat each word, each sentence preciously. And that’s a process which I can’t rush. Artists are not meant to rush the creative process.

And that’s where the problem with short form content lies. Most people are trying to express creatively, but creativity can’t come in the form of multiple reels a day. That’s just not sustainable.

Artists are thinkers. They need to muse. They need to deliberate about life.

So I’m going to take a stand against the dopamine loving part of my brain. I don’t want to be a slave to vanity metrics. I refuse to. I’m going to train myself to be okay with fewer likes. I’m going to train myself to know that it’s okay to be forgotten, and to remain unknown.

I refuse to be dependent on a code manufactured to run our lives. To get us to spend more time chasing after likes, comments and shares.

I want to do justice to my thoughts, and my feelings when it comes to this piece. I want to write words that bring value to you, not some haphazard quickly put together piece just because I want the highest number of likes and comments.

And I know the right people will come regardless, because authenticity attracts.

This is why the feeling of linking your worth to vanity metrics is so scary. I don’t want my life to be dependent on likes that only count in the virtual world.

I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life, swiping my thumb up a million times looking for that next rush of dopamine.

So why don’t I leave social media completely, you ask? Why am I still in the content creation arena if it’s so bad?

Because, while I know this is idealistic thinking, I want a space for slow social media. One where I’m not bombarded with videos of people doing dance trends, mindless pranks, mukbangs, and being sold things I don’t need.

One where I’m not pressured to constantly put out content to stay relevant. One where I don’t feel like I’m a performer in a circus. I don’t want to keep walking on stilts, willing myself not to fall flat on my face in front of millions of people.

I want a type of social media, which forces me to think. Which forces me to slow down, and savor life. I don’t want a social media that sucks me in, making me forget to live my real life. I also don’t want a social media that only works for me when I show my face.

I want a type of social media platform that complements my life, and helps me live it to the fullest. I want a social media that fulfills me after I spend time on it, not make me feel empty.

And for years I searched, waited for such a social media platform. I finally found it in Substack.

This was a place where I could express myself, and people were actually reading my words. My comment section was filled with intelligent comments and not trolls. I felt like I was making an actual difference with my words.

Please know that I’m extremely new to Substack, and have only three newsletters out to date. But Substack instantly felt like home to me.

It was slower, and more meaningful. And the algorithm wasn’t forcing me to post videos of myself every single day. The algorithm wasn’t making me do cartwheels to be seen.

I was also able to create content at my own pace, taking time to write things that really truly mattered to me. Plus I also own my subcribers list, and that’s not dependent on any algorithm. This was made possible only because of Substack and the way the platform works.

Artists aren’t content creating machines, after all. They aren’t meant to be.

They’re humans that take time to slow down, and think about life. They put a piece of their soul into every piece they create.

If they’re required to post hundreds of content a month, their soul would be shredded and ripped apart. Let’s not do this to artists. Imagine if Van Gogh was pressured into making and selling a hundred paintings a month. Would he be able to?

I think this is where Substack is going to play an important role, and honestly I’m excited for it. It feels as if Substack is about to go mainstream, and I think in what has a been a very long time, it’s going to shape social media in a unique and wonderful way.

I’m confident that Substack will remain a place for all kinds of creative people. Whether that is through writing, painting and drawing, podcasts, voice overs or video. I want it to be a space for all kinds of creative people.

It will be a place for all of us.

Until next time.

Wishing you a wonderful day,

Wajeeha

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One more thing! I wanted to share this song by Atif Aslam because this is how I feel after quitting social media, and starting this new phase in my life. I finally feel freed.

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You are also welcome to share your thoughts by sending me an email at: waj.nad@gmail.com

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